There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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