i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
