we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
