I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize