dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
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So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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