She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
