i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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