NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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