we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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