I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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