WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
