you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
