I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize