I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
