Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize