apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This baby is an asshole
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
