Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
