ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
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everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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