I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
