from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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