Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
