I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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