you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
