So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize