I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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