Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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