I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
