But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh god the rape fog is back!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
