Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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