Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
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The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there