So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.