i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!