Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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