Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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