I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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