Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize