one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The power of my boobs compel you
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
