New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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