So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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