This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
