I need help removing her.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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