Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
