Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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