Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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