dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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