no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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