I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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