Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
