The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
