Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He? As in you personified your dick?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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