And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
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We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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