Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize