People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
