so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
