Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
