Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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