your parents love me but you hate me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
