I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
